The following article was written by Dr. Jane Philpott, the dean of the .
My youngest daughter just finished her last day of classes at Queens undergrad. Shes sold the furniture from the room at her student house. Shes studying for exams and preparing to move on to her next adventure. Across campus, many Queens students will soon say goodbye to this special place. I thought Id write a few notes for my daughter and share them here, hoping some others might find them useful.
Dear Lydia,
As you pack up and say goodbye to Queens
Step out in confidence. For four years, youve enjoyed being in one place and youve loved your time here. It hasnt been everything you imagined because a pandemic intervened. But youve known roughly how each month would unfold. Now youre not sure whats ahead. But this place has prepared you well. Youre going into the world with a degree from Queens. Thats a huge gift that you can use proudly.
Aim to do what you love. I know you love working with older people. Im guessing youll make that passion into a career somehow, and there will always be great needs in that field. That reminds me of a line from Frederick Buechner (an American writer whom your dad and I have enjoyed). Buechner wrote: The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the worlds deep hunger meet.
Dont stress about not being able to see very far ahead. Ive often found that I can only see the next little step in the path through life. On a couple of occasions, I couldnt even see that. The path seemed to stop altogether. But usually, you can figure out one small thing to do next. Every job you do, every course you take will add up to a life of experiences that shape you and teach you.
You will have to create your own route. There is no limit to the number of paths you could follow into a future life that will be meaningful and happy. Dont worry if the route meanders a bit. I have often found that the detours Ive taken have been the most important parts of my journey in life. Some of them have been painful and not of my choosing, but they have always made me stronger and maybe a bit smarter.
Dont judge yourself by other peoples expectations. It can be so tempting to measure yourself by what your peers are doing, whether they are finding a partner, having children, not having children, traveling, studying, buying a house, making money, not making money. Only you can decide what is best for you. Trust your instincts. Dont get tangled up in trying to impress other people by the choices you make.
Expect the unexpected. When I was your age, I would have never believed I would get to be a federal minister of health, or a dean of health sciences one day. If Id been aiming to do either of those, we probably wouldnt have gone to work in Niger for a decade. But somehow those amazing opportunities happened, unexpectedly. That phenomenon reminds me of the words of Henry David Thoreau, in his book called Walden where he wrote: I learned this, at least by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. Thoreaus words dont take into consideration that success often depends on an enormous amount of unearned privilege. But the general sentiment is still true. Follow your dreams and your values, and you will be amazed where life takes you.
When in doubt, cling to your values. I wish I could predict the wonderful and the difficult times that lie ahead for you. It would be tempting to steer you in the direction of the wonderful parts and manipulate events so you could avoid difficult times. But thats not how life works. When you were young, I couldnt prevent every scrape or bruise of your childhood, just as I cant prevent some hard days ahead for any of our kids. The one piece of advice I can offer is to know who you are. When hard things happened to me, I always reverted to the values and principles that my parents taught me. I hope your dad and I have helped you find your own set of values that will guide you when youre not sure where to turn.
Know that you are loved, no matter what. We havent decided what to get you as a grad gift. But there is one gift I want you to have and hang on to. That is, the knowledge that no matter where life takes you, no matter what career path you follow, no matter what choices you make along the way, your dad and I will love you forever. Your value does not depend on any title, any degree, how much money you make, nor how popular you are. We are enormously proud of you. We will never stop loving you.
Come back often. Im so happy that you got to spend four years at Queens. Its a magical place in the loveliest setting on the shores of Lake Ontario. From what Ive learned, it becomes part of you forever, always drawing you back for another visit. Thats good news for me because Ill be here waiting for you.
Its just a few more weeks until convocation in person! With any luck, Ill get to be up on stage and see you receive your degree. Ill be the one unable to hold back my tears of joy. Congratulations on your graduation from Queens University. I can hardly wait to see where you go from here.
This article first appeared in the
